Lucifer
Why are you haunting us
What is this plague
What is this fire you rake
Who is this god you fake?

His Island Immolated burns
Orange occult lies, the above sky churns
An ancient fear that learns
Death and ruin , its our turn
Lucifer, tell me why have you returned?

The world shakes and explodes
The black drones spill blood
Incessant infinite darkness
As slowly landscapes erode
Weapons fly and corrode
Beside a dying rose, a dying prose

Lucifer you hypnotized
The monkeys in the mine fields
Now they are laden with automatics and hide in trees
They will now unleash hellfire
Now they know no clause no pause
Now they want nothing to breathe

Lucifer, they will now kneel at your abode
Yours is a power beyond
The only power
That splits the atom
To spill horror and fire
And divides us in two
Driving us further than what we can ever fathom
Into the drowning depth of our own disillusion.
Of the day we realize
that the God we chose, has returned, as His other.


(I think I had a dormant nightmare)
(Viginti Tres in the morning is not a good idea)

Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Now there's a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
You were caught on the crossfire of childhood and stardom,
blown on the steel breeze.
Come on you target for faraway laughter,
come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine!
You reached for the secret too soon, you cried for the moon.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Threatened by shadows at night, and exposed in the light.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Well you wore out your welcome with random precision,
rode on the steel breeze.
Come on you raver, you seer of visions,
come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner, and shine!

- Shine On You Crazy Diamond , David Gilmour

Bill Hicks & Revelations

I stepped into the shoes of a small kid, his first time at the park, climbing up to the top, staring down at the height. I looked at my mother, looking up at me from where she stood. She's anxious. And I am too. I quiver slightly as I brace myself. And have my doubts. The first step down the slide . Can I do it? Mother. Can I? Will I hurt myself. And she says. Don't you worry. Its just a ride. It's a simple reassurance. Simple enough for me to overcome the fear. And so driven by some inconspicuous belief and trust I let go of the railings. And its only a few fleeting fraction seconds and the ride's over. And then I realize. That it IS just a ride. And that it will be over in a fleeting moment. And then I would want to take it again. And again.

Such is life. And we have been on this ride a long while. We have been in much sorrow and solitude. And yet we have known simple happiness and silly laughter. And sometimes when everything ceases we have known the void, from which I believe we are inseparable. And logic persuades us to question the purpose of our pursuit. And that is when it acts like a fantastic drug. The thought of life being a ride. And uncontrolled hurtling up and down and round and round. And that little space. Where we are all hung in midair I believe we all feel the same.

We were all supposed to be here only a little while. And we are no different from who we believed we were, when we were children. We are still juvenile. We would still choose to ignore the complexities of aging and growth. We have seen much and known much and we will continue to understand and explain. But we are still clueless. We still need reassurance. And as Buddha said we will come back to take the ride again. And again. Learning differently every single time. Whats truly beautiful is that if we can believe that , that's all there is to it, then it is an end in itself. Truly. Unselfishly. And humbly. We are never going to grow up. And we will always continue to try.

So here is to Bill Hicks,

To a vision of another possibility, to a vision that cherished the everlasting exploration and experience without exclusion. To a vision we no longer preach because we are consumed by fear and loathing and contempt. And hence we require...

" A choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one. Here's what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money that we spend on weapons and defenses each year and instead spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace. "

Both inner and Outer
Forever
In peace.

"Escape is never, the safest path
The dissident, the dissident is here. "
- Dissident, Pearl Jam (Vs)

Torch The Tower

(Are we?)
Ions in the atmosphere
Apocalypse electric
Friction Sparks
Familiar predictions

(Were we?)
Pre-conceived notions without priority
Gathering dust and authority
Ancient inoculations
Still pushing our survival


(Running from?)
Primeval dreams without wheels
Haunted caverns without leaves
Echoes of frenzied footsteps of thieves
Gold Glory and Crystal ornamentation
A Conspiracy of soft voices
A Punishment for counted sins

(Waiting for?)
Gatherings of aliens
War dances and radiance
Defeating death and darkness
Fleeting Youth
Blood & Menace
Liquid Serpentine Deviations


(Haunted by?)
Scented Choices
And Candles
Melancholy desires
Heresy hypocrisy
Our Precious Pride

(Could it be?)
Everything was conceived in a trip
In a seamless void
Since we were not fearful, then
Of the contradictions of a reality
Of our callous thoughts
As they morphed into the possible future

(Am I?)
A belonging
Here
and
Now
Fractured
Cranial cracks widening
A Dissolving dead weight
In the dark and still waters of madness


An Archaic Metamorphosis

(To become?)
A hope in a shallow cast
Which remains
and reconciles.

(Will I ?)
Torch The Tower
Warn the vessels in the dreadful angry sea
Of impending
Wreck and Ruin
That awaits in silence
On the far side of
A dark horizon

Still waking;

Head heavy rush of dizziness,

slowly terminating the semblance of life, odd suspension of all belief.

Which part of the day could this be? Everything is arranged in immaculate readiness for a dream. The sky looks, furry and frozen. Wooly and weather washed. The cotton white and the darker blues intermingled in the absolute space above.

Suddenly a sun….carves edges onto the clouds, draws sparkling borderlines, hides behind and peeks from time to time to warm the view. The sky mirroring; Green, deep, dissonant and convulsive calm;

A wish to emancipate into the sky space hung above.

And then the finality in its disappearance, full-circling, the absolute change in the shades and the colors around, the absolute set up, the absolute undeniable arrangement. And then suddenly….the death cold wind, sweeps down high heaven and slams it across the waters, merciless and powerful. Spins around and halts and spins again with hypnotizing evenness, lifting the sand up in patterns and making the waters roar with new life.

What lifetime is this?

Parallel, lateral or just the present, undeniably supernatural; and this moment is all around, activity, doings, motion of an unknown unseen unbound form unraveling a massive energy and electrical fusion dream-space. The sky seems to swell and the wind seems to create its own breathing space. I see an eye in the sky, sparkling lashes, like black holes in spiral concavity and magnetism sucking death out of life and leaving it clean invincible. And then reaction, skin tingle first drop of rain fires up the nervous impulse. One life form touches another. Connects, and releases. I know it has started, and I am inside the eye, its energy pool, enormous and radiant, vast and eternal, without choice or inhibition. Murderous wonder with no possibility of return, only the afterlife, trapped in secret witness and disbelief. So she spins me with such unbound simplicity, without second thoughts, intensifying her effect and her power and her enormity. And the sand begins to take flight, ankles alight as I Am pushed back and forth cutting straight through my center of gravity, swaying praying and mobilized. Louder she speaks in her thunder tongue. Sound sight infected and pleased with my response. She tests me now. My strength, my withstand, the rage picking up, with the calm destructive spirit of a thunderstorm executed to perfection. Absolute art; Absolute freedom; I am to be cast forth, set sail into blinding sensation, of her life, the delight of being alive in her womb. And she sings in echoes, inciting forever sleep, forever conciousness, forever rising, forever.

I gotta wake up now.

Fuck
Where is my lighter?
There it is.
So now.
Concentrate.
A straight line spine you swine.

...
Theres no sun today, remember?
No human daylight.
Im scared.
Of course you are.
What if?
It will
Madness?
Yes.
But I just woke up...
My sympathies.
So here is where I stand?
Yes
Will I survive?
No presumptions.
.............

Fucking silence.
Fucking darkness.

Wake up.
Up up.

Breathe.
Hold.

Shes almost dead

Old savior I said

I'm gonna die

We ll die together

I believe you

Faithful grey worn out lighter

Should'nt have believed her.

.....

Click. Flame. Click. Nothing.
Click. Flame. Click. Nothing.

Spark becomes a flame.

Click. Flame.

Click. Nothing.

Click. Flame.

Click. Nothing.

Flame becomes a fire

Click. Flame.Click. Nothing.

Light the way or warm this
Home we occupy

Click. Flame.

Click. Nothing.


Forge a blade to stay the stranger.
Take whatever we desire.

Click.

Moved by will alone.

Flame.

Pure as we begin.

Click.

Pure as we begin

Nothing.

Move by will alone.

Click.

Leave as we come in. Pure as light. Return to one.
Move by will alone. Move by will alone.

F.I.R.E

F.I.R.E

F.I.R.E

Hold. Watch. Hold. Watch she burns.

Watch she is power.

Watch she is light.

Watch

She is gone

..

Click

Nothing

Click
Nothing

...

She's dead. Fuck.

Shouldnt have believed her.

Now what?
God Damn


O Silence...
Darkness {} ...
O Again ...

We live in a beautiful world

Everyday

everyday

Anger

I get angry at times, and I mean dangerous, bad, hostile, shit, raging red, smoke,infected, uncontrollable. Complete blind maniac sensation.

Infinity

There is infinity in my every emotion....the everything that I feel or deny is endless and my life in definition, in circumstance,is an explosion, well contained within myself, so as to not hurt the outside world...but I WANT to hurt everyone sometimes, because I have no one to blame and its confusing because there is no fucking reason for all this contradiction inside.

Contradiction

Im not dead and weak, im not deaf and hallucinating pain, fuck no...Is it so terryfying to feel powerful and ugly and mad and primitive, sometimes the enough and necessary emotion we are after is not an emotion at all...its action, power, movement...to do mad things and live madly, make mistakes, cut, heal, rain fever, inhale energy and breathe out the dizzyness and sever from the normal and bend over the railing and look down into the depth,height,whatever and fucking fall,dive fly, free, instead of waiting to be safe and comfortably incoherent and unconnected.

Connectivity

I need to feel like everything will be new forever. So new, so intricately simple and connected. And I want to be drenched in the sweat of frighful uncertainity of watching something completely, without discarding, as a new born and like I have always wanted to witness. An unbroken, guiltless emotion.

Thought

I have a thought, I hold it in my head for a while...the thought of waking up in the hazy green clearing to the distant sound of a liquid stream and birds and grasshoppers and the spirit of morning sunlight on dew, and watching the orange dawn sky awaken into blue, as the pieces of wood, still warm and tired from burning all night finally give up and leave embers that glow in the free wandering wind. And the sound of everything fills my head clearing out the dirt and bandages from the wounds of a murderous, torturous city life, to which I never really belonged.

Ah Im dying to escape. Forever. Animal dreams. Animal screams.

Too straight, Too sharp

All I know and feel instead, is a four walled one door two windows room and the end of wonder...its failure to break away from a simple trap, there is simply no escape...drugs sex alcohol is only a dream inside another. Its a messy dream. So im sitting here, and Im tied down, raging hot and kindered....but Im sitting quietly and looking too straight...too sharp.

I want everything to be basic again. I want everything to start again...from the molecule and I want to be born with nothing; no emotions, no roof on my head, I want grass under my feet, insects crawling my skin, thunderstorm survival, hunting food, living and wondering about the stars and ignoring the distant growl of the darkness at night; I want to find friends, I want to protect them, I want to trust them to protect me. I want to live.

That is the end and begining, the motive, the knowledge, the proof of being human and feeling certain.

"Pure as we begin.
Pure as we come in.
Pure as we begin.
Ruled by will alone."

I want to be ruled by will alone.
how did we forget everything?

How?