Free Desire - 44

Her home does not belong to this earth,does not belong this pollution dust sweat and dream-less city.It belongs to her.Its her i-am-stranded-but-i-love-it island.Its the overcoming without apprehension...its her love,too secretive too strange too comfortable.And i could just belong...for hours.Let it (her) satisfy its ownership and quench,famished parched hours with slow filling sounds and words.
I walked those clouds and long roads leading to places we found,together,year after year,breath burning breath,hand leading hand,thought inspiring thought...And still I cant get used to it,it disallows,it begs to be seen,to be photographed..not by a camera...because its not stillness that is worth the capture...but its flight,movement and journey. Somewhere in corners there are places to hide,feel young,feel undiscovered.
There were evenings we spent on our tower,climbing spiral staircases,always in the frenzy of wild uncultured tortuous expectation..little feet,gaining height,gaining freedom...racing to leave the ground and let it escape below.The floor was as coarse and rough as our breaths.The simple finality of being up there...in the spaceship fuelled powered ready..a breathless countdown of launch into dreamspace....just a little sweat and the exhaustion...the heartbeats tripling and delirious.Joy.
Sitting there in her secret shelf...I heard her breathe...the expensive...the treasure, of the sound of your companion's breathing...the gladness celebration of your own survival and witnessing another birth.

My own lungs were burning.I love it here i said.I will always love it here,she said.

One day we sat on her bed.
I held a cigarette,
she killed the lights...
I wore calm
and she wore black...
I smelled of nicotine
She reeked feminine fatality
It was beginning.The fight.The enticing asthetic sin.Love.
And i let my cigarette ignite free something untamed inside.The cages i lock, the bars against which i press my head, the solitary.I let it out.My animal.

Shes a witch,a child of the voodoo..the proselytizing...the insane.But hiding magic from the rest of the world with accurate simplicity of a new born.She can...make me shiver.And she knows.

but nights end

I miss my spirit and hers
Sitting here

far away from free desire